I think by now ive decided to live a little by living healthy. I was an overweight pre-pubescent-teenybopper and i was bullied, teased and suffered from name calling a lot back then. Looking back at the old photos, I look like a giant misfit being a 75 kgs among all of my 50kgs friends. I look like a dwarf with a pizza face and could not bear the wrong attention. People look at me in a different way like i was born with extra-terrestrial traits and i knew that my classmates were amazed at me drowning in my own pool of perspiration in Physical Education Class . I decided to emulate the contestants in The Biggest Loser when i couldn't fit into any of my pants anymore. No, to be honest, I like Jillian Michael's muscular, washboard-abs so much, I've decided to embark on a healthy diet and exercise more. I can still remember, the commitment i made to lock myself in my room, the running, the squats and push-ups in the middle of the night in order to escape from public humiliation and degradation.Oh, the agony.
My battle with body issues goes back in my teenage years when my hormones started to fluctuate decided to appease the boys and look good in the mirror.(besides secretly discovering and stashing Victoria Secret ad). when i was 17 i was bulimic. the phase goes on for 3 years before i decided that bad/stale/breath,stained teeth, having sore throat everyday, the never-ending visits to the toilet,feeling lethargic all day and feeling famished 24/7 is no fun. i found out that severe bulimic patients were prone to throat cancer and i actually felt that throwing food down the drain/toilet bowl/whichever place was a waste of money because my family at that time were having a severe economic downturn. My knees were also badly bruised from the kneeling action in the toilet. Self-esteem was at all time low and i hardly can make eye-contact with people. Serious. My days were filled with negativity and i can hardly took compliments from others. My voice quality were bad. I mean, im not a good singer initially, but my voice control went from bad to sour because my voice control were out. I suspected and self-diagnosed self as having weak throat muscles. yes I know. and I can hardly remember the lyrics of the song. Because I'm hungry. ALL THE TIME.
Yes I did lost some weight, but due to the constant puking act, i have an exceptionally bloated face, chicken neck (sagging and wrinkly) but I was still round because when i embarked the bulimic phase, i stopped exercising as i was always exhausted. At that time i think my sisters knew that i was bulimic. she must've overheard the sound of me sticking my fingers and toothbrush(back and front) down my throat in the toilet after finishing only half of my plate. At that time, she did not confront me, instead, she indirectly motivated me to live healthy by buying more good foods and talked mainly about self-esteem. she bought gazillions of health food.
Being a bulimic, I could wolfed down around 3000kj of food and de-eat the bolus of food later because of the raked guilt. I remembered once I gulped down 1.2kg of oatmeal with melted Cadbury chocolate and condensed milk in one sitting. Kerazee cunt.
The recovery phase is even harder than the bulimic part. I kind of understand what it feels to have addiction. I respect all the smokers and drug-addicts who managed to survived the ordeal of trying hard not to get back to the old ways. the sense of guilt will always popped its head when i ate something. even a fucking beansprout. my head will magically count the calories content and wrongly misinterpreted and classified any food as bad food and consequently muffin top image will appear.lastly, the puking begins. and i have to restart my head to began the withdrawal mindset all over again. Withdrawing a habit and mental disease is not an easy process. People SHOULD seek medical assistance when dealing with eating disorder.
its painful to reminisce my cuckoo obsession with Tyra Banks flat tummy(Tyra were skinny at that time). My old-self was so vain and plain-eecck. I wouldn't befriend my-old self if she was to exist now. She is waaaay too mainstream for me.
But, that was then. now im happy and contented. i realised that i need food for nourishment and not for pleasure. Furthermore, i learn that toothbrush is only meant for teeth and not the glottal or alveolar area. i am now 21 years old, 53kg, 159cm with 32-28-35 measurements.
Below are some of the fad diet that ive remembered and have tried myself. Scary to imagine to what extent woman will do to be beautiful and perceived by the society. They are aplenty but some of them are just too irrelevant to be posted and too yucky. Its fucked up and its twisted. But hey, I learned a lot along the way.
*warning: im not a dietitian, and the experiments were conducted on my own will, body and stupidity.*
The Epic Fail Fad Diets (Results were and may varied)
1. The Banana Diet
A follower of this diet plan eats as many bananas as they want with room temperature water or a glass of milk for breakfast. The dieter can choose what they want for lunch, and dinner. They can have one or more bananas as a snack between meals, but no other desserts are permitted. Nothing is eaten after 8 pm, and the dieter must go to bed by midnight. And if you want more information, you can go to Time and NYDailyNews which featured interesting articles on the wacky diet.
Duration: i tried this diet for 2 weeks. and i almost went ape.
The perk: i can fit into my old jeans and i actually have good skin and fairly well overall health.
The downside: Besides having a dull life with only yellow as your main food colour, i had terrible constipation. And i got hungry pang fast after each meal. If you can stand hard stool, then go ape on this.
Conclusion: Go bananas on banana. Its a good source of potassium but shouldn't be regarded as a meal replacement, you incorporate em in your diet, once in awhile
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2. The Gym Rats
The constant daily visitation to the gym 7 days a week, and consume protein shake only. This consist of being Madonna and risk self being bulky with crazy massive guns. All you have to do is by being addicted to move and stand the smell of your sweaty and damp neighbourhood gym's. or the constant running and cardio activities, whether indoor or outdoor.
Duration: Surprisingly, my body can withstand the tension and weights and carried on this physical diet for 3 months. I feel like Jesus.
The Perk: besides seeing muscles that you've never realised were tucked and hidden by your heavily densed fat body, you'll notice your skin gets clearer. my skin vitality and vibrancy were enhanced. and i usually feel fresh and good about myself after a workout. what i like about this method was the chance to increase your social circle. come on, if you don't flirt with the hunks in the gym, you should probably get your vagina checked. or maybe you dont have one.
The downside: my grades were poor. i was tired all the time, i couldn't focus in class because im like a walking zombie.and i usually feel fresh and good about myself after a workout. only after a devilish workout. i feel bad about my appearance if i only managed to do 244 sit ups instead of 250 sit ups per day. i passed winds like crazy. my back door were flapping frantically all the time and its smells worse than a concoction of rotten eggs,armpits sweat and rafflesia bud altogether.
Conclusion: Exercise 3 hours, 3 times a week. Your body is not a Ferrari. It needs a balance rest, movement, shock, and definitely a good bootcamp once in awhile.
3. The Anorexic Diet
Your diet will consist on eating almost nothing. thou will sip water almost all the time, and you will order 'sparkling water' or 'skyjuice' while going out.
Duration: i did not survive this one. Food is just too sexy.
The Perk: you dont have to live this live as you will be dead from starvation.
The downside: Buying a new coffin is pricey.
Conclusion: eat.your body will thank you. this haphazard way of dieting is fucking fatal.
4. The Coffee Diet
Think Sienna Miller, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Rachel Zoe (oh wait, she only smokes, never eats), and all the skinny minny Hollywood girl. they'll always have a cup of coffee with them. alternatively drink redbull for variation.
Duration: 3 days.Thats the longest period i could stand. My crazy diet was mainly caffeinated as i only consumed 2 toasts in the morning and the rest was coffees, redbull and unlimited water.
The Perk: I became manic depressive. Contrary to the norm, i do fell asleep.
The Downside: I do fell asleep. But definitely not a deep sleep. I'll be awake in the middle of the night and getting back to sleep was tough. Also, do toss your eye make-up, especially the smokey eyes range because you won't need any when you wake up with a pair of gargantuan eye bags. Trust me, the sight is horrid. The frequency of going to the toilets will soar too. The anxiety level will be elevated too. Im a hyperhidrosis patient, so, you can imagine me drowning in my sweats. I had terrible breath and my urine was almost green in colour.
Conclusion: Now i only drink my Coffee before 3 pm and i limited them to maximum 2 cups a day.(last time i could drank 8 cups per day). i've switched to better alternatives like green teas (high in antioxidants too), or fruit juices.
5. The Raw Food Diet
Raw Food diet is mostly revolves the vegetables, fresh fruit, nuts, and whole grain and seaweed. you'll eat them like your ancestors,uncooked and unprocessed. The diet is heavily based on enzymes level, there are several phases and is quite popular among the french and the brits. Google them if you don't believe it.
Duration: To understand the diet, i have to scour the State Library to understand what the diet truly offers, the advantages, the no-nos and the off limits (minus one day for researching). The diet has some And sadly, I stopped halfway from this diet.
The Perk: I feel good about myself. My skin feels radiant and my energy level is quite ok , thanks to the rich protein based recipes. i dont have to feel guilty eating and you'll appreciate food better. Since mostly, you don't have to whip up things (you go Flinstones on em') , it's time efficient and money efficient (my stove was on hibernation period).
The Downside: I have weird gas smell but the frequency level is not as much as when im doing the Gym Rats Diet (refer to condition no.2). I have to stop the diet because the ingredients to cook the recipes given are scarce and hard to find. i mean, look around, the rampant processed food has invaded the shelves of almost every inch of my neighbourhood store. I have to drove further to get my supply of organic food(my wallet was dented too because the price of organic food is, almost always, pricey).
Conclusion: If you are lazy to work out or hardly have time to hit the gym and you have stash of notes to spend, this diet is designed especially for you.
6. The Mediterranean Diet
Most of the foods on the plan are fresh, seasonal whole foods - they're not processed. Preparation methods tend to be simple; foods are rarely deep-fried.
Only small amounts of saturated fat, sodium, sweets, and meat are part of the plan.
Duration: 2 weeks
The Perk: This is just my point of view, but i like this diet better as compared to The Raw Food Diet. Just saying. I've enjoyed the food, alertness, the vigor and most importantly, the contentment.
The Downside: The food taste so good and eventually, i don't lose any weight at all. Maybe its good for those who just want to tone up and retain their weight.
Conclusion: Lower your consumption of sugar,sodium and artificial flavours. I like my food the way it supposed to be, au naturel. i usually do not food any sugar in my coffees, cake or etc. Friends and family called me nuts, but hey, i want to live long.
7. The Blood Type Diet
You'll eat food according to your blood types. For instance, my blood type is A , so i should avoid red meat, eat plenty of fish and vegetables, with a minimal dairy intake and according to the sites that ive read repetitively out of disbelief, i should practice light exercises only.
Duration: 1 and a half months
The Perk: My skin gets clearer. I usually have bad skin condition when i am about to get my period but the result was unlike the usual.
The Downside: The person that recommended this diet is not a medical diet. My skin wellness could be triggered by other factors too.
Conclusion: Lower the intake of meat and dairy product. Now, I've actually halted all red meat and dairy product sabatically with other alternatives and i noticed that my skin flares problem and temper(yes, believe it or not) have reduced to almost none.
8. The Fruitarian Diet
This is actually a subset of being veganism, but its a little different as you'll only eat fruit per se, no grains or oily onion rings whatsoever. You are considered a fruitarian if your daily consumption consist of 75% of fruits but i decided to be 100% fruitarian at that time. BECAUSE I CAN.
Duration: Only for about two weeks. Mum scolded me to eat healthily, so i have to stop this diet, cold turkey style.
The Perk: I like this diet so much as i like fruits. My bowel movement was alright.
The Downside: My mother was afraid that i might be anemic if i proceed.I had weak stamina while doing sports,my cuticles worsen and my hair went limp.
Conclusion: Fruits should be incorporated in your diet but not taken over your diet.
9. The Bulimic Diet
Purge after you eat. Like a crane feeding its babies, you throw up the food consumed as fast as you can before it gets digested.
Duration: Around 3 to 4 years.
The Perk: You can eat all you want and stay in the same dress size.
The Downpart: Aside from having the puffiest face,the downpart is listless. Kindly refer to my rants above in this very same post.
Conclusion: This is not living. Do not ever,ever,ever, commit this crime. Trust me, because i know.
10. Vinegar Diet
I heard about this diet through mutual friends who was spotted with a slender figure. She said that she drank a about a cup of Apple Cider every now and then. Another friend claimed that she hiled it as a holy grail which helped her to bounce back to her pre-pregnancy body. So i was peer-pressured to buy the Apple Cider Vinegar in bulk. Purveyors of the tonic also claim that it will cure migraine headaches, diabetes, chronic fatigue, arthritis, high blood pressure and many other ailments.
Duration: 2 weeks. I drank apple cider vinegar before and after meals and i usually add it in my water.
The Perk: It taste good. Besides, my toilet issues has lessened and it gets healthier too (nice poop alert!)
The Downside: I actually grew tired of consuming the bland taste of the vinegar over time. Plus, there is very little evidence to prove any of the anecdotal claims. It will affect your bone density in the long run too. Osteoporosis and brittle bones could be the end of you. Not to mention, kidney failure and esophageal injuries.
Conclusion: Not for a regular basis consumption.
Above are some of my unhealthy story of pursuing happiness.But, that was then. now im happy and contented. ♪(´ε｀ ) i realised that i need food for nourishment and not for pleasure. Furthermore, i learn that toothbrush is only meant for teeth and not the glottal or alveolar area. i am now 21 years old, 53kg, 159cm with 32-28-35 measurements.
I am happy with my weight, give chance for my body to experience treats, and learn to live a little. I have converted to veganism and yes, being a vegetarian is not easy. Being born and bred from a carnivorous family,the tendency of me being re-converted is high. Luckily, my family is quite supportive and so is the people around me. I've entered the gym occasionally and make time to run outdoors or indoors.I would like to build my muscles so i usually loiter at Exrx site to find inspirations as well as challenges. Also, i drank water like a horse. Yes, water retention can get pretty ugly because it will cause you to have a bloated face but bear in mind that water is vital(I try to not drink any 3 hours before i hit the sack though). I hope I can remain faithful in eating right and being active. I hope you too. (ღ◕‿◕ღ)
