Socially Inept

Being alone is SCARYYYY

ok. so everyone has his or her own atrocious dark side exposed when we are having a troubled times and is on the lowest state imaginable. i do have mine and miraculously, i wrote it in Microsoft Word (stumbled across it while spring cleaning my lappy).my hands are all sweaty reading it halfway-spooked the shit out of me.ill copy it for you to read.*seriously, dont waste your time reading it, better google some random hot guy.i was whatafucking with self*(PG 13-rated).HERE GOES SOME SHITTY STUFF TO FILL MY EMPTY BLOG—->

You sit at the edge of the world,I am in a crater that’s no more.Worlds without lettersStanding in the shadow of the door.
The moon shines down on a sleeping lizard,Little fish rain down from the sky.Outside the window there are soldiers,Steeling themselves to die.
Kafka sits in a chair by the shore,Thinking of the pendulum that moves the world, it seems.When your heart is closed,The shadow of the unmoving Sphinx,Becomes a knife that pierces your dreams.
The drowning girl’s fingersSearch for the entrance stone, and more.Lifting the hem of the azure dress,She gazes-At Kafka on the shore.

What is luck? My birthday is about five months to come. But what is luck anyway? I once thought it doesn’t have a name or a shape.  A question wells up inside me. A question so big it plugs my throat and makes it harder to breathe. Next thing I know, I cried. I never cry so much in my entire life. But lately, I cried unconsciously and uncontrollably. Maybe luck is a phase. It’s the adulthood phase. Yes. That is my acceptance speech.
To tell you the truth have never been in such a condition before. It’s in a state I have never experience and had never fathom anyway. I could not find a way to express this. So I blog this as a way of channelling it so that I won’t end up electrocuted at the asylum. I am a mediocre girl. I do not need such attention. I do not know and I do not have a clue. Whenever I think of something or anything lately, I cried. And when I do not think of anything too, I cried too. I am not a doctor. Forgive me if my diagnosis is wrong. But maybe I’m having depression bouts. I’m losing part of my life. The other side of me.
I am posting the minutest details of my pointless life that I do not even care. You know, I don’t even know why I cry in the first place. I keep trace in mind what is wrong with me but I can’t even decipher my own head. So tonight is the night of deciphering the labyrinths juice fluxing in my head?I hope so.There are three prime suspects. 1) The past 2) the future and 3) the present.Well you see, I lost my senses lately. I could not feel anything. No, I am not the new Helen Keller or anything. Nothingness can increase in value. It’s soaring in value. In my case I lost the catalyst of living. You know. The reason to live. It is gone. I don’t really know what is going on biologically, spiritually or anally. It happens to me a lot of times. Sure, there are those moments. But in my case it has gotten too much. It’s been way too long to recover, I do not even know when to wake up. And I have a sound and healthy brain. I have never  feed it with cocaine. Nor marijuana. But why are you acting this way brain? My body is in an erectile dysfunction. They do not follow me. I want to recover. Regain my consciousness. But it just won’t budge. I think I need a psychoanalyst to solve this arithmetic problems in my head. I can’t conquer my own heart and soul. Now that will lead to another problem. Moolah. Money. Cash.
I love the playground. Playground. When I was small, I rarely go to one. And as far as I can remember, I make full use of it whenever I have the chance to go there. I guess I am overly passive when I was a kid, I tend to go to the playground when I am alone. I love the stillness. The nothingness. The smell of dirt. The silence of it. It is undeniably an indescribably hunch. I cannot explain it. Until now. That was the moment that I cherish when I was a kid. I can wander alone. Into my own time warp. You know when you feels like the time stops ticking by. I love to play the swings and shut my eyes tightly and fell the breeze swooshing , my tummy has a funny feeling and my head went tingly. But I do not want to open my eyes back again.  Physically and mentally, I am in my own dimensions. I love being a loner at some point. But I have to wake up and realise that there are  things to do. I have to finish chores, helps mum, feed the kois, play with my faux Barbie dolls. Somehow I naturally shattered the nothingness  and head backs home . Go back to the trivial things that I hate.Déjà vu. It goes back in circle. This time it is in anticlockwise motion. I do not want to stay in the nothingness no more. Wake me up. I miss the trivial things. I hate being alone. I hate the smell of dirt. I hate the smell of my own sins. I despise myself for not making it this time. I am staying way too long in the playground. Shatter this stupid container of mine please.  I am mad at everyone. I am mad at my own self. Depreciating myself for no reason. It is not PMS for sure.  I haven’t laugh for about the weeks now. It’s not healthy, I know. I have never communicate to anyone during this period of time, let alone sexual contact. I mean, I do talk when the need arose. I mean real communication. I did not have one since three weeks ago. I answered questions but I do not post any questions. I nod and shake my head all the time. and if I need to ,I don’t talk. I shouts. There are moments when I don’t even know whether I should nod or shake my head. It’s just the same.  I just feel that I am too lazy to ask. That it is off limits. That is out of my so called container.  I just don’t want to. And I did not make any eye contacts at all. Frankly speaking, I am disgusted by the look of my acquaintances. It just so happened. Their facial features will etch the fort I build. For instance, when my mum talk to me, I felt such a strong feeling that urge me to slap her and spat her in the face. Sometimes it can get real scary, I would not let anybody know how horrid my beastly mind can stoop to torture. I don’t know what demonic creature has  gotten into me. I tend to hate everything. Everything, I mean it. I am only at peace when I am alone. The problem is I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t know what I’m mad at. I am at a complete loss for words. Or taste.There are moments when I do not know how to separate the dream and the reality. I wake up and thought my dream the night before is happening but then it is not. It happens too many times I wish I could shoot my head. My brain just does not following me. I am hallucinating. And I dream of nothing. I think of nothing. And do things just so. I once text my sister this out of consciousness-> “FUCK YOU FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH FUCKING WHORE FUCKING CUNT JUST DON’T MESS UP WITH MY LIFE FUCK OFF FUCK YOU”. I don’t remember doing it. It’s no longer funny when it happens a lot.She said I am a psycho. Yes, if and only if. I want to be one. Help me to be one. At least I would not trapped in my own maze. Please. I need someone. Professional help might do. Decipher me please. Why am I feeling so sad over nothingness? Why is my heart weeping at a loss of emptiness?Maybe I should pour it. I hate it when forces tend to mingle with my future. Please buzz off. I hate it when my parents plan my future. I guess that is how strong a rebel is. It can topple government. It can topple man. It can topple me off guard. I hate how I have to choose my life the way they wanted it to. Why can’t I choose the path I want it to bend? I have never talked this to anyone. Not even my reflection. But I lost the key to mould my future twice. And not that I don’t  confront it to them. I tried. Tried. And tried. And fail gloriously. How much is my life worth to them? Why can’t I have the power to devour my life?
Dear ma and pa,Dad, I know I am an extra baggage to you. You don’t know what effort did I made when I was a kid to shine to your eyes. And I know that you hate me. I still can hear your shouts at me when you scold me over things that I don’t do. And you won’t even want to try to believe. You do not know the extra mile I do to get to the top of the class. Mum, I never disobey anything you ask me to. You love my eldest sister to the extent that you neglected the others. Mum, you don’t know how much I love you. I waited for you at the report card session so long until the school ended. And you did not show up. You said you will. But you did not. I had cried silently that night mum. I bit my lips till it bled so that I would not let a sound. Why do have me in the first place if you don’t love me? I tried to commit suicide twice. I once downed acid. And I survived. What if I died? Will they love me then? I hate family arguments. Maybe I hit puberty while the families on a rough ride. But everybody else did. Why can’t I move on? I’m trapped to the  past. Like paintings. It’s there. Does paintings have memories? Like Kafka on the shore? I still remember the moments when they do not believe in me. they thought I am not a bright girl and I could sense that they oblige to care of me over their mortal sins. They like my eldest sister because she is smart and excel in anything she do. Now that she is gone leaving the family penniless with turmoil that she engraved forever, they thought I will be the scapegoat to repay them in the future. I don’t mind if its money. But it is my future. I will live it. I will cruise with it. Not you. its mine. My life. they do not let me go overseas. And here I am. When new doors open, they ask me to shuts it. I’m not doing okay. Why? Why? Can I live just this once? I know they talk behind my backs. Mum lied to me. She faked her crying just so I said no to the offer. She  said she would not let anybody know the secret but then she tells everyone. I know I act like a child. Like a cry-baby. And immature pre pubescent teenybopper. But what option do I have when all my siblings turn their backs on me over rancid explanation that’s not even mine? I hope I heard them wrong. But then it’s true. They act like they care. But then they mocked at me every time I’m not looking. Seriously, what am I to them? An outsiders?  I heard she tells lie about me to people. I heard every single word she bitch about  me.Do we owe an infinite sum of price to the owner of which private parts we came from? Do we owe our life to them? Isn’t God created us? Gautama Buddha or Jesus. Yes they are the loan sharks I owe my life to. But mother and father?Swinging the swing is not easy. Sometimes you landed on the wrong foot and ended up with scars. Who knows, baddies might turn up. Stray dogs or wild boars might appear. You swing it best when you swing it the pace you want it to. Feel the breeze. Trapped in the moment. The smell. Swing, swing.
Maybe it is me. I am trapped in a painting.



 ——>i was like,  WTF?. i couldn't even read it quarterly and i feel boring as shit. *YAWNWORTHY

Hell hath no fury like an angry and confused woman.i should interact more with people,and be positive. oh, and God,spare me.please. 

How To Track Page Views on Blogger Using Google Analytics

i really-really want to ask blogger on How To Track Page Views on Blogger Using Google Analytics .totally DUMBFOUNDED. :(

an APPLE a day, keeps Steve Jobs away

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SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — With Steve Jobs bowing out as CEO, Apple Inc. must persuade investors and consumers that it doesn't need the force behind the iMac, iPod, iPhone and iPad in charge to keep the technology hits coming.

Tim Cook, his hand-picked successor, has handled the top job repeatedly in the absence of the ailing Jobs, who resigned as chief executive Wednesday and was elected chairman of Apple's board. Though not nearly as recognizable as Jobs, Cook had been running Apple since January. The company's stock has risen 62 percent during that time.

Jeff Gamet, managing editor of Apple-focused news site The Mac Observer, said Jobs' departure has more sentimental than practical significance. He said he has been telegraphing the change for several years.

"All Apple really has done is made official what they've been doing administratively for a while now, which is Tim runs the show and Steve gets to do his part to make sure the products come out to meet the Apple standard," he said.

But Trip Chowdhry, an analyst with Global Equities Research, said Jobs' maniacal attention to detail is what has set Apple apart. He said Apple's product pipeline might be secure for another few years, but he predicted that the company will eventually struggle to come up with market-changing ideas.

"Apple is Steve Jobs, Steve Jobs is Apple, and Steve Jobs is innovation," Chowdhry said. "You can teach people how to be operationally efficient, you can hire consultants to tell you how to do that, but God creates innovation. ... Apple without Steve Jobs is nothing."

Jobs' resignation appears to be the result of an unspecified medical condition for which he took a leave from his post in January.

In a letter addressed to Apple's board and the "Apple community," Jobs said he "always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple's CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come."

Jobs' health has long been a concern for Apple investors, who see him as an oracle of technology. He had previously survived pancreatic cancer and received a liver transplant.

The company said Jobs gave the board his resignation Wednesday and suggested that Cook, Apple's chief operating officer, be named the company's new leader. Apple also said Cook is becoming a member of its board.

Genentech Inc. Chairman Art Levinson, in a statement issued on behalf of Apple's board, said Jobs' "extraordinary vision and leadership saved Apple and guided it to its position as the world's most innovative and valuable technology company."

He said that Jobs will continue to provide "his unique insights, creativity and inspiration," and that the board has "complete confidence" that Cook is the right person to replace him.

"Tim's 13 years of service to Apple have been marked by outstanding performance, and he has demonstrated remarkable talent and sound judgment in everything he does," Levinson said.

Earlier this month Apple briefly became the most valuable company in America, surpassing Exxon Mobil. At the market close Wednesday, Apple's value was $349 billion, just behind Exxon Mobil's $358 billion.

Jobs' hits seemed to grow bigger as the years went on: After the colorful iMac computer and the now-ubiquitous iPod, the iPhone redefined the category of smartphones and the iPad all but created the market for tablet computers.

His own aura seemed part of the attraction. On stage at trade shows and company events in his uniform of jeans, sneakers and black mock-turtlenecks, he'd entrance audiences with new devices, new colors and new software features, building up to a grand finale he'd predictably preface by saying, "One more thing."

Jobs, 56, shepherded Apple from a two-man startup to Silicon Valley darling when the Apple II, the first computer for regular people to really catch on, sent IBM Corp. and others scrambling to get their own PCs to market.

After Apple suffered a slump in the mid-1980s, he was forced out of the company. He was CEO at Next, another computer company, and Pixar, the computer-animation company that produced "Toy Story" on his watch, over the following 10 years.

Apple was foundering as he returned as an adviser in 1996 — a year it lost $900 million as PCs based on Microsoft Windows dominated the computer market. The company's fortunes began to turn around with its first new product under Jobs' direction, the iMac. It launched in 1998 and sold about 2 million in its first 12 months.

Jobs eventually became interim CEO, then took the job permanently. Apple's popularity grew in the U.S. throughout the 2000s as the ever-sleeker line of iPods introduced many lifelong Windows users to their first Apple gadget. Apple created another sensation in 2007 with the iPhone, the stark-looking but powerful smartphone that quickly dominated the industry.

The iPad was introduced less than a year and a half ago but has already sold nearly 29 million units as it inspired myriad rivals in a tablet computer market that scarcely existed before Apple stepped in.

There have been some setbacks. Apple was swept up in a massive Securities and Exchange Commission inquiry into stock options backdating in the mid-2000s, a practice that artificially boosted the value of options grants. But Jobs and Apple emerged unscathed after two former executives took the fall and eventually settled with the SEC.

___

AP Technology Writer Barbara Ortutay in San Francisco contributed to this report.

------>>> one of the eye grabbing, shocking , headlines that caught my eyes. copied from Yahoo news. What would Apple be without its prodigious, figure head? that would be bread without the butter or the brown crust that most of us love / hate. Steve Jobs is a Pancreatic Cancer survivor. Come on, he needed that much needed rest. he should travel more with his wife and three kids.  hey, you forgot that he's net worth is 1.2 billion. spend some lah. 

   

Young , hairy Steve Jobs

i'd done some research about him ( actually stalking him on www.theapplemuseum.com ) and found out great quotes and facts about him.

1. Mr. Jobs purchased the computer division of Lucasfilm, Ltd. in 1986 and incorporated it as an independent company under the name Pixar. Yes, that production house with the zexay bedside lamp jumping around.
He was co-founder, chairman and chief executive officer of NeXT Software, Inc. NeXT Software was sold to Apple Computer in February 1997.
Before founding NeXT, Mr. Jobs co-founded and was chairman of Apple Computer, Inc. He guided Apple as it grew to a $2 billion company, during which time he co-designed the Apple II and led the development, manufacturing and marketing of the Macintosh and LaserWriter printer.
In recognition of his pioneering work in technology, he was awarded the National Technology Medal by President Reagan in 1985 and the Jefferson Award for Public Service in 1987. In 1989, he was named Entrepreneur of the Decade by Inc. magazine.
Brushes with Fame: Dated Joan Baez in his 20s; Ella Fitzgerald sang at his 30th birthday party; entertained President Clinton at his home in Palo Alto, Calif.
Apple Stock Holdings: Now owns only a symbolic one share; he's paid $1 a year from Apple so that he can be on the health plan.
Email: Receives about 300 per day.
Raising Early Capital: After receiving an order for 25 Apple I computers, Jobs and Wozniak raised needed capital by selling Jobs' Volkswagen van and Wozniak's Hewlett-Packard scientific calculator
Phenomenal Growth: Sales of Apple II computer in the late 1970s totaled $139 million after three years, growing by 700 percent.

Eargasmic experience.

screw it, i seriously enjoyed being alone in my room sitting around doing nothing and listening to good music and marvel at their awesomeness. was so blown away by lots of new music that i missed with all the jam-packed hectic schedule i currently have as an all time lame-y student. but the heck, now that im on a week holiday, im hitting the Big-O. yes, i totally came with lots of good old, classic music from my rickety but trusty Classic Nokia 3210 . its only natural la.

 Let me list out some AWESOME SHIZNIZ GOOD MUSIC that ive been listening to this couple of days. (P/S ALL THE VIDEOS BELOW ARE ENTIRELY NOT MINE, I DO NOT CLAIM OR OWN ANY OF THE VIDEOS,GO GET THEIR ORIGINALS AND SUPPORT GOOD MUSIC)

GOOD MUSIC FOR EARGASMIC EXPERIENCE

1. Arctic Monkeys
- so im typing on my keyboard now while listening to “Baby Im Yours”. Gosh. Im smitten all over again and my body is going Jell-O again. nuff said.


2. Janelle Monae
- “Coldwar” is very catchy and “Sincerely,Jane” is very authentic and strong. but my favourite is still gonna be “Tightrope”.



3. The Temper Trap 
- “Sweet Disposition” is kinda cute,but, “Science Of Fear” is AWESOME.




4. She & Him
- So here’s the scenario. Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry is twin sisters separated at birth. Zooey is blessed with talents. She can act and sing. The other one blessed with looks and pins but she can neither sing or act. and i like Zooey better. She & Him hums simple melody but just nice to make you all gooey with its sweetness. just sweet. “Don’t Look Back” and “Thieves” will nailed you away. “In The Sun” music video will makes you wanna tap your feet and dance your problems away.”Why Do You Let Me Stay Here”music video sure is cute too.


5. Yeasayer
- “Ambling Alp” uttered hopes and faith to move on. They sure sound weird at first but do listen to their songs again. it will sure smells awesomeness.i just love their lyrics,i might copied them here and let the lyrics speak for itself;

Now kid, I know I haven’t been a perfect man
And I’ve avoided doing things I know I can
But if I learned one thing, the tattoo on my arm will burn into my thumb
It would be that

You must stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done

Now Old Man Schmelling was a formidable foe
But Ambling Alp was, too, at least that’s what I’m told
But if you learn one thing, you’ve learned it well
Until you must get past yourself
They’ll run but they can’t hide

You must stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done

And when those thunder clouds are crying in the skies, in the skies
And when those fireflies keep shining in your eyes, in your eyes
Keep your mind for the time, with your ass on the line
Keep your feet, feet sliding to the side, to the side

Now, the world can be an unfair place at times
But your lows will have their complement of highs
And if anyone should cheat you, take advantage of, or beat you
Raise your head and wear your wounds with pride

You must stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
Stick up for yourself, son
Never mind what anybody else done
(Yeasayer - Ambling Alp Lyrics)

6. Beach House
- Well you know what, i dont really listen to stuff like this before, but “Heart Of Chambers” is really something. it is very poetic.the quirky music video explains nothing to me,but it is a good spin tho.

7. Blur
- I LOVE the BAND.and i miss their music videos,especially “Coffee & TV”. why dont they make videos like that anymore? *sigh*Dear God, i hope they’ll stay Blur forever so they can make more Blur music.Amen.

8. Allstar Weekend
- sounds are very fresh and young. their “Dance Forever” track somehow reminds me of Owl City’s “Fireflies”.

9. The Killers
-  so, ive been listening to their old track like “Bones” (reminds you how sexy getting boned is our skeletal system is ),and Brandon Flower’s “Crossfire” lately, and i think Brandon Flower would have sound better if he sticks to his band. i love indie band.and always is. Brandon’s goofy dances always amaze me. no, im not being biased, but, their dark,repetitive rhythm is severely addictive.



BOLD NEW ONES THAT CATCHES MY SQUINTED EYES

YOLANDA BE COOL AND VAMPIRE WEEKEND.OM NOM NOMS.whisky soda rock’enroll on a vampy weekend maybe? :)




SONGS THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT(in my opinion) .-Britney Spears’ “Hold It Against Me”.
> Dear Britney, i am a big fan of yours when i was a teen back then. and i still am. i love the fact that you’d sober up and kicking it in the studio, but this song just won’t make it in my ear canals. they’ll do good in the club maybe but its way too mainstream. God knows what’ll happen when you make ‘mainstreamy’ music,Yes,you’ll rake up money with all your prepubescent teenyboppers fan worldwide but, the song is utter twat   boring for me. Good Luck.

-Justin Bieber
>im trying to be diplomatic here,i have no qualms against young uns with mop top hair, but, your new album spells SHUCKS MEDIOCRE justin. try harder,better, and stronger.




NEW MUSIC I CANT WAIT TO GET HIGH WITH 2011
THE STROKES - Oh yes,finally!!!!! even though Julian Casablanca’s solo tracks ( he has a baby recently :(  )doesn’t make it, but im more than sure that they can take care of their music as well as they can take care of their addiction. and ive been an avid supporters for years and its hard to make a decision to pick one of my fav track from them: R.E.M - @thelittleidiot at Twitter finally sing his big heart out. THE BEASTIE BOYS - i cant wait to “CH-CH-CH-CHECK IT OUT” with you. COLDPLAY - Gotta have to save every penny i have to buy this one for sure. they just keep getting better. FOO FIGHTERS - my uncle Foo will be please that they are still fighting to strut their stuff.
RED HOT CHILLI PEPPERS - Anthony Kiedes mustve had run out of money. but hell yeah, this one’ll worth every moolah too. THE TING TINGS - i hope to get their previous albums magic and hope they didn’t forgot their names or their thongs this time.and less “ahh-ahh” sound please. ESTELLE - no worries. this lady can handle AMERICAN BOY,she can handle it all. BEYONCE - here comes the sun. hubby will take care of it. PANIC AT THE DISCO - oozes panic at my heart. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE - here comes the fun and i will follow you into the dark in your cute cab. WILLOW SMITH - its either whether ill whip my head to the bank or to the aquarium. JAY-Z AND KANYE WEST - they’ll do just fine. LADY GAGA-butchers, be very, VERY CAREFUL.hide all those sirloin steaks.  We’ll see whether the album flunk or sunk or racked in money.nevertheless, i cant wait to hear from them any sooner! :)
P/S 1.i do listen to crappy songs( those that belong to the dustbin) and i dont even know why they even produce it, but i dont wanna risk getting a lawsuit shove down my throat.

      2. hell. i tried to upload more videos but the process is just too long i mightve grow a beard out of it.        so…mission aborted.

Love Game, Doctor, and Guru wannabe

since i am not in love (yet) currently, i am sane enough to tell you what category a person is in their love life by my stooopied experience, and mostly by watching all the soapy,minty dramas reenact by my roomies, like, almost everyday. how can you not produce at least one deduction when all you can listen almost most of the time is your roomies calling/arguing on where they are going to have dinner / cooing / travelling their daily sexcapades together, blah, blah,blah. seriously, i hope they'll stop with their daily camaraderie and marry some random taliban or be a nun. 

I'd came out with the Phases of Love/ Amor/ Ai / Sarang / Cinta deductions. ---->

Phase 1: hot crush : when all you do is gushing on how handsome or pretty the person is and fantasizing on how others will look on while you cling onto him/her.

Phase 2. hot crush pt.2 : when you can do is dream on how you’ll hold his/her hand and kiss his/her lips


and if you manage to get his or her number,then congrats,you are on a quest for Phase 3!

Phase 3. hot friend : dont act like you dont know how this will work out. any skinship (rub by accidents) will do you goooood.

Phase 4. hot friend pt. 2 : you like to confide with him or her on anything and you dont mind and actually kneeling to pray that he/she will actually take it to a further new level other than lame bestfriend. at this point you’ll annoy those around you since all you do is mentioning his name over and over again in every sentence thatll come out of your mouth.

what?you manage to enter Phase 4?good luck.

Phase 5. hot date : youre basically dating. and you love the looks on others which bore the how-i-wish-i-can-date-your-date look and youre cuddly on your new peeve @ trophy.

Phase 6. hot Bhut Jolokia : wha?you have got yourself another Siamese twin. youre inseparable. whatever comes out of his/her mouth is fancy,adorable,gushy-mushy,lovely and flawless.

Phase 7. hot Bhut Jolokia pt. 2 : since youre both attached…well,youre both ATTACHED.physically and mentally.you’ll kissed when nobody or everyone is around,and you finished his or her sentence at the speed of light.

Phase 8. hot Bhut Jolokia pt. 3 : the setting of this scene is mainly in bed. *scenes deleted*


*Phase 8 will actually determine and decide whether you’ll survive the next 25,40,or 87 years ahead with a bang(proceed with Phase 9) or with a goo(withdrawing from any phase at ALL COST).*


Phase 9. 

a) hot mess: you figured out that youre nothing but just a confused creature in a confused relationship. the flames gone out and youre on the prowl to look for other flame somewhere else (being single or looking for other flames). this will eventually lead to a bad,BAD break-up. even if you ended up being friends, you cant help but try to ignore him/her as good as you can.*it is advisable to block him on facebook in order to prevent any facebook stalking*. your choice of song will be heavily based on those of im-getting-rid-of-any-bad-break-up-sentiments-tingling-in-my-body.(ex: think of Fall Out Boy’s,Rihanna’s or any rock number that hails singleton as priority). your choice of clothes will be mostly black in colour and your hair is in a (what else do you expect?braids) MESS. basically youre in a deep shit.in the end you’ll get better but itll take times dear.

b) hot eternal flame: youre both suited each other. just like yin and yang. be it rough or smooth roads, you’ll both be traveling on the same page. the happy-ending page. troubles,toils and turmoils do come, but you know that in the end you are nothing without the significant other.


p/s- terms and condition may vary.this is just a mere thought from my tiny brain deduced from my minuscule experiences.please,please,oh,please do not sue this potty mouth of mine. 

i want a cat. right here. right meow.

haha, this post has nothing to do with the blog title, but i just wanna declare the day as meowsaurus day(just a happy day)!since today is Sunday,i have plenty of time to put my thoughts in words. so what actually happened yesterday was almost quite a fairy tale. classmates and i were just simply going places around KK. i did not know the power of sightseeing is so powerful that it could mend patches with friends you’re having rough ties with. seriously, i bonded better with my pals after that. Well,actually we went to eat oily KFC’s chicken(blame the goddam tempting fatty acids and glycerol) and Secret Recipe’s cake(i still blame the gluten) to celebrate my bestfriend’s 20th birthday. we later went to watch a super-bad-trashy Japanese horror movie.watching it is the same as charity work.  wasted my RM13.00 to watch a flat,non-scary and stereotype storyline. i shouldve known better by the title. House of Horror. duh. with less 13 bucks in my wallet, we later went to bowl (dont worry, im worst at it so i wont bowl for the sake of humanity),followed by dinner at the Philipino’s market or ‘pasar pilipin’ as we called it. ordered ‘Mee Goreng Ayam’ and “ABC(ais batu campur)”. to my amazement the mee goreng only costs me for RM3.50 with the looks of RM5(HALLELUJAH!!!!) and DID NOT cause any trouble with my tummy.actually,to those out there who are afraid to go eat there,i have a piece of advice to tell you.:DO GO. yes,i know it is kind of ‘a black area’, but hey,look at me, im still in one piece. just dont show any bling,and do not go alone,then you’ll be safe. just go in groups, and you can enjoy the barbecued and grilled seafood and all. okay, back to the main story, we actually open up with a lot of things and actually realized that we shared a lot of thing in common. so,the moral of the story is, do not judge the book by its cover,read the paperback first,and the reviews. you’ll be amazed on how you would like to ‘read more’. anyhow, the friends and i are still on our way to repair the severely burnt ties indirectly by commenting each other and liking each other status on facebook,and occasionally yakking on our same fave music. in the end,we play under the rain showers. YES,IM 20 AND I STILL DO TWIRLS AND DANCE UNDER THE RAIN SHOWERS. it is more like a thunder showers actually. since we have to walk back to our main campus for about 800m after a 20 minutes bus ride,so….8)…. regardless of that stint, that magical outing did gives me another way of seeing things. 1. i should go to places more, 2.i should be friendly to others, 3.smile more :)

--> oh wait, this is my diary post months ago, dont suspect me to dance under the rainshowers with loofahs when im going to have an exam soon.

Confuse Confucius Confute

               
“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”

thats the adage of the late,late,late philosopher to us. well, it has everything to do with my day today. i am not perfect. i hold grudges to others over silly and small things.

However, DO NOT underestimate the power of silliness and trivial, mundane stuff. a small birthday card thatll cost you for only 50 cents might allow you to reflect your actions and thoughts.

I was strolling to buy a magazine in a kiosk when i saw that particular  magical,tiny,small,inviting card that move me to the core.that small card is just a simple card with a fuzzy bear in front which bore the word ‘happy’ (im expecting “happy birthday!”, but..what do you expect from a 50 cents card!) and i bought it.

i actually want to give that card to a friend who's currently having a hard time while having her birthday. our relationship were severely battered due to several disagreements and misunderstandings. but to my (and your ) amazement, at that time God must've rung a bell that reminds me that i do not hold any power in creating my own yardstick of right and wrong (im no God afterall) by judging other people and i should not behave in a childish manner. it suddenly struck me that i want to change for the better. i dont care whatever the outcome might turns out to be, but as long as ive commited myself in trying my best to repair and to salvage what has been done, there is nothing i could do. its ineffable that these words came out from my hideous tiny brain, but i think enough is enough. i am not Dalai Lama, i dont have the benevolence in forgiving, and sure i dont have Mother Theresa's act of contrition or generosity, but, heck, im going to give it a go.

“Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it”. yes, no matter how ugly is the way she’d treated me before, i should dig my memory to find out that there is always something good out of the bad. whether its should not my new year resolution? to be a peace activist@aficionados by now.

Certain foods may be the best medicine for lowering 'bad' cholesterol

Stumbled across this while gallivanting on LA Times --> Certain foods may be the best medicine for lowering 'bad' cholesterol . hmm. really-really? I thought our soy supply is mostly genetically modified soy? plus, the way we consume it is far from traditional fermented preparations nowadays.

On the other hand, the article is debatable. i am no scientist but obviously, the study did not show that dietary intervention was better or way effective than statins. i dont know but the study did conducted a test on statins beforehand? moreover, the authors remarked in the paper's discussion that their dietary intervention was less effective than statins at lowering LDL. The soy , nuts, etc. did lowered LDL cholestrol by 13%, which is very good news but statins lower LDLs by 20% to 40%, depending on the dose.Maybe i should just stick to my mother's cooking. JUST SAYIN'

D.U.H.

yes, admit it. even if she has a psoriasis up her humid armpits or squirrel AIDS oozing out from her bushy vajahjay, you still cannot get enough of the drama-esque Kim Kardashian.Blame Channel E , Google , and the society for feeding us with pics and follow-up from her wedding with Kris Humpries. After all, your eyeball need a rest after watching too much of London Riots and Gaddafi on the news. 


PRENUPTIAL.according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prenuptial_agreement , prenuptial agreement,antenuptial agreement, orpremarital agreement, commonly abbreviated toprenup or prenupt, is acontract entered into prior tomarriage, civil union or any other agreement prior to the main agreement by the people intending to marry or contract with each other. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for division of property and spousal support in the event of divorceor breakup of marriage. They may also include terms for the forfeiture of assets as a result of divorce on the grounds of adultery; further conditions of guardianship may be included as well.


hmm... in a nutshell, only rich people do it.






Following excerpts are copied from LA times ----->




Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries have signed a much-discussed prenuptial agreement, it was revealed Wednesday in what might have been the day's largest bit of predictable breaking news.

The newlyweds, who tied the knot in Montecito on Saturday before friends, family and the cameras of E!, have agreed to protect their mutual assets against the seriously microscopic chance of divorce.

What's at stake? Kardashian's $35-million personal fortune, up against Humphries' NBA payday of $8 million to $16 million, according to THR.

The pair would be wise to protect their individual assets. If he continues to succeed in the NBA, Humphries would only see his salary climb, and Kardashian really knows how to make bucks on deals selling, um, the Kardashians. Of which there are many. Some of which can go awry. So this keeps him out of her business.

As a married woman, however, Kim will have to learn how to share -- something clearly not happening until after her People magazine cover. The bride is featured solo on the magazine, which reportedly spent $2.5 million for exclusive rights to the extravagant wedding pictures. It's almost unheard of that any celeb-wedding cover wouldn't also feature the groom.

Momager Kris Jenner, who ain't no fool when it comes to handling Kim's saturated image, has been here before with prenups.

Kim's sister Khloe wed Lamar Odom after the two were engaged for approximately the length of a "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" commercial break. That deal protected Odom's $33-million Lakers contract, but allowed Mrs. Odom access to a Lamar-funded joint account that pays all their expenses, plus an "annual lump sum" of her own.

So childish to call that an allowance.

----->Do you really think they'll last? my brother gave them 2 and a half years after a thoughtful consideration.

you should totally follow the LA times for more gossips 

Twitter: @LATcelebs

Facebook: ministryofgossip

so, to prenup or not to prenup. if you have salary up to RM 5000 monthly (or if your name rings with the Gates or Trump) , you should have your lawyer examine it before signing for one.  However, we Asians regards the constitution of marriage highly and usually do not take action with anything that has to do with legal papers , judiciary, and going to and fro to court. i dont know about that since im happily single and NOT a reality star. 

I like being the society....you know, watching the marriages and the divorces of Hollywood people.. lets just sit back and enjoy the show. <3    

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Are FINALLY Married

for those who are asking, im the owner of the voice talking behind the daft Pepsi ad. kidding. The double K are recently married. im so sure that they are in sparkly matters, honeymoony-bound.
yes, Kim Kardashian has the same weight and height as me ( 5'3 and 115lbs ) but i admit that i have less hawtness and money as she do, and i am so aware that one of the Kardashian got hitched recently, proving that even vapid people are deserving of love. dont worry, i liked all of the. Kourtney,Khloe, Kendall, Kim, Rob,Kylie and the little one, Mason. See?

Her first look on her wedding day

and dont you just hate it...why must the good ones taken...(RICH, MOOLAH, FAME, and the whole PACKAGE)


the next post is copied dutifully and unabashedly  from 
http://www.kimkardashianhot.net  ------>>>>>

Lavish ceremony of wedding Kim and Kris now ends in Montecito, California on Saturday evening (August 20). Wedding was starts at 6PM at the SottoII Monte estate. Kim was dressed in a custom gown Vera Wang as step dad Bruce Jenner was with her at down to the aisle and also with her tuxedo-clad fiancé Kris Huphries. In her classic wedding Kim’s sistrers Kortney, Khole, Kylie and Kendall as bridesmaids and during the ceremony Kim’s beloved nephew Mason Dash Disick was act as her ring bearer. When they said their “I Do” infront of 450 guests made their way to the reception grounds. Lindsay Lohan, Demi Lovato, Ryan Seacrest (with Julianne Hough), Avril Lavigne, Mario Lopez, Maria Menounos, Sugar Ray Leonard, Mark Ballas, AvrilLavigne, Serena Williams, Nicole Richie, La La Vasquez, Kelly Osbourne and Eva Longoriawere also present there.

This is sure that guests will went on wedding with their beverages. Someone tells that Malibu Rocky Oaks Wines was delivered there almost 720 bottles of wine.

It is also reported that People magazine won the bidding contest for wedding pictures at a cool $1.5 million and E! Set to air Kim’s wedding coverage during a two-part special on Oct. 9 at 8 pm with the 2nd part airing on Monday, Oct. 10 at 9 pm!

i think she's looking very fine. like a classic Grace Kelly with an Armenian vibe

Look at how time flies!the Jenners has got boobs of their own!

Rich people.tssk.tssk..

super -duper secretive wedding


Her engagement ring is as famous as her wedding.

Her ring is designed by Lorraine Schwartz, which is 20.5 carats in total featuring a 16.5 carat emerald cut center stone flanked by two 2 carat diamonds. It is laced with secret bible passages. And it is in valued at $2 million (that would be enough to feed the entire population of children in Africa alone)

Kim was dressed in Vera Wang gown with full tulle skirt, basque waist and Chantilly lace was appliqué. Kim said her I do to her NBA beau in front of 440 guests included so many stars like Ryan Seacrest, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Mel b and Avril Lavigne.

Kim was walked down to the aisle with her step father Bruce Jenner before they exchanges their wedding rings to each other which is designed by Lorraine Schwartz about on 6:30PM on Saturday. In the second part of her marriage she wears second Vera Wang gown with more lace on the bodice and hand-cut organza petals on the skirt. Kim danced with her husband to Robin Thicke singing Let’s Stay Together.

Kim’s sisters Kourtney,32 and Khole, 27 who are her co maids with younger sisters Kendall,15 and Kylie Jenner,14 and also Kris sister Kaela and her beloved nephew Mason was ring bearer.

 while watching the wedding, i also cannot help but notice on Kris Jenner, tight and better visage. she mustve done something like Botox / filler injections maybe?

Kris was wearing white peak lapel tuxedo jacket, black tuxedo pants with white shirt and white bow tie by Ermenegildo Zegna, and that moment Kim’s mom Kris Jenner was seeing in white gown made by Vera Wang. During the wedding, Kim took time to pay to tribute her late dad Robert Kardashian. She said that to writing that she was wishing that her dad take her down to the aisle today. But she knows he was there and she feels her loving presence all around her. She also said that she love and miss her dad.

i admit that i like the kardashian sense of style and fashion. very LA-ish.

The Beauty and The Zexy Beast

well, if you noticed on the net, kim kardashian has been spotted with the weight gain lately....

She is prone to cellulite like us ..(God, why am i smiling... )

her touched up-and un-touched photo

and she worked her bountiful asset, her ass / junk in the trunk , OFF like hell. she admitted to have  a healthy eating habit, and never starved.   she said that in other to look like the After-picture BELOW, she practice good eating habit which consist of :-

Breakfast
Smoothie made with peanut butter, bananas and protein veggie powder

Lunch
Cobb salad with ranch dressing, iced tea with 5 Equals

Snack
Sugar cookies, sliced apple with 1 tablespoon chunky peanut butter

Dinner
Piece of pizza bread (“a tiny slice”), 6 ounces grilled salmon served with pesto sauce, a cup of brown rice, 2 cups broccoli

Totals:
 2,575 calories, 121g of fat, 224g of carbohydrates and 78g of sugar.

Celeb Diet Doc..
This plan is rather calorically rich and I wouldn’t recommend this for weight loss. Here are a couple of ways Kim could trim the calories. Many people add milk or yogurt to smoothies and this is often unnecessary. Try using just water.  With a banana as your base you’ll get a creamy consistency and won’t miss a thing. She could also drop the peanut butter in the smoothie. Replacing the Cobb Salad with a leafy green salad with vinegar dressing and a lean protein side would cut the calorie content by over half. Cutting back on the refined carbs such as the pizza bread and cookies would help a lot too.

Overall Kim’s diet is rather high in calories and low in nutritents. To fix this she needs to up the fruits and veggies big time!

you can google the Kardashian diet and find that their weight balloon and fluctuates big time just like the economy. oh, and she swears by Quick Trim (prolly because she endorse em).
i heard that she wanted to lose the jiggle before her wedding. maybe she wanted to look like Kate Middleton with a mini size - 2

She was spotted kicking off to work after her wedding _ Le Sigh

she's pretty alright 

hope her marriage last, unlike their Hollywood-y counterparts *cross all digits*



if you cannot get enough drama from Keeping It Up With The Kardashian , Khloe and Lamar , Kim and Kourtney Goes To New York and Khloe and Kourtney Taking Miami (typing their list of reality shows are making fingers cartilages dried), follow @KimKardashian on Twitter